That's all I can think of when I try to explain how I'm feeling. I've been living with my boyfriend for the better part of 3 years. I had my own apartment for part of the time, and then, back in with him. I always thought our relationship would progress and we'd get married one day. Instead, I have found myself losing ground... I say that as if it's some contest I win.
Girl, please! Stop being so needy!
And then there's my mom. I'm afraid even get started with my mom but I need to say it. My mom is fucking crazy! She lives with a man who abused me growing up, starting at the age of 3 or 4 until I was brave enough to tell my grandmother at age 11. There is never a question if I was abused, because he admitted that to the family. He admitted that to my grandmother and aunt and Uncle. The truth however, with hidden from his family. I was a good little girl and sucked it up for mom.
Fast forward 30 years and my mom is trying to take my kids away because I'm not Christian enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not enough like them. I have so many emotions where it comes to my mother that I can't even explain them all here. But if I could say anything to my mom it would be this:
Girl, please! You'll never take my kids from me.
So for what it's worth, this is where I'll begin with my blog. I think this is a way for me to just get it all out.
What if somebody sees and doesn't like what I have to say? Fuck them! My own mother doesn't love me… why do I care what they think?
My words will be raw. My feelings are on my sleeve. I am battling depression. I have PTSD from child abuse. I am unapologetic for feeling the way I feel and living in my truth.
So if you want to know more about what's inside my head, let me know… or maybe just stick around.
